SELF-ESTEEM
Self-esteem shapes almost everything else — how you handle a hard conversation, whether you speak up for what you need, how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong. When it's running low, it doesn't always look dramatic. More often it looks like the person who's always fine, always helping, always a little too hard on themselves. In fact, self-esteem is one of the most common reasons people reach out to WPA for support — right alongside anxiety, depression, and relationship concerns. If it sounds like we're describing you, you're not alone, and it's more workable than it feels right now.
What Is
Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the ongoing, general sense of how you evaluate yourself — separate from confidence (which is task-specific, like "I'm good at my job") and self-worth (your unconditional sense that you matter, regardless of what you do or achieve). Self-esteem sits in between: it's the quiet, running assessment of "am I enough?" that colors how you interpret everything else that happens to you. Healthy self-esteem doesn't mean thinking you're better than everyone else, and low self-esteem isn't about being "too sensitive." It's a learned pattern — which means, with the right support, it's a pattern that can change.
What Are the Signs of Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem shows up differently for everyone, but common signs include:
Trouble accepting compliments orgood news
A harsh inner critic that wouldn't be tolerated toward anyone else
Chronic comparison to others (especially on social media)
Avoiding new things for fear of not being good at them right away
Perfectionism
used as a way to
feel "enough"
Difficulty identifying or advocating for your own needs
People-pleasing
and difficulty
saying no
Feeling responsible for other people's emotions or reactions
Where Low Self-Esteem
Comes From
Low self-esteem is rarely random. It often develops from early family patterns, critical or comparison-heavy environments, past relationships, chronic stress, or trauma. For some people, it's tangled up with perfectionism or people-pleasing; for others, it surfaces most in specific relationships or during major life transitions. It also rarely travels alone — low self-esteem frequently shows up alongside anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties, either as a cause, a consequence, or both. That overlap is part of why it's worth naming and treating directly rather than assuming it'll resolve on its own once "the real problem" is handled.
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How We Can Help
Our therapists use evidence-based approaches — including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and self-compassion-focused work — to help you notice and challenge the inner critic, understand where these patterns came from, and build a steadier, more accurate sense of your own worth. Therapy also gives you a relationship where you can practice being seen and valued without having to earn it, which is often the missing piece that reading or "just thinking positive" can't provide on its own.
Explore Our Self-Esteem Specialists
Jordan Valley, LSW
Licensed therapist helping adults heal relational trauma and navigate life transitions.
In Person, Telehealth/Virtual
Maureen Bourke, LPC
Licensed therapist for women, kids, and teens ready to grow at their own pace.
In Person, Telehealth/Virtual
Eliana Jorgensen, LCSW
Licensed therapist helping young adults manage anxiety and find their footing.
In Person, Telehealth/Virtual
